Jessica Gray aspiring author

(This is my entry to the Forest and Fawn Vampire and Werewolf contest)

The incomplete journal of Sister Cecily from The Sisters of Saint Roses, where she writes about her Lycanthropy within the convent. An unforgivable sin is committed and she finds herself at the steps of The Lady of The Silver, the monastery that vows to cleanse the Holy World of werewolves. 

August 16th (Third Quarter)

    Mother Elodie gifted me a journal today; she says I need not confide in her every one of my worrisome thoughts, instead banish them here. The sisters also suggested I put my mind elsewhere since my thoughts are susceptible to my ‘condition.’ The sisters assure me that the Lord will not fault me for these thoughts so long as I stop them from becoming a reality. But, voicing them gives more power to her— the wolf.

     I confess there are times I cannot differentiate my thoughts from the wolf’s, but these I am sure belong to her. She wants freedom again. It has been seven days since the full moon and she is still loud, nipping at the back of my jaw. Claws itching to tear my skin off and replace it with her own. She is hungry for something so disgustingly shameful, I dare not say. However, I can feel the ache in my body as if it were my own, the sensation haunts me. I must pray on the silver rosary, she fears the silver, and the scars are just a small price to pay to put the wolf to sleep! Oh Lord, please calm the wolf, let me no longer suffer under the moon. 

May no one ever suffer under the Lord’s moon!

August 23rd (New Moon) 

     The sun begins to rest sooner, letting the moon stay awake longer. Thus begin our preparations for our autumnal events and the harsh winter. Our most monumental event is the festival of autumnal equinox; we thank the Lord for the bountiful summer and welcome the nature that autumn brings. We are all excited, even Mother Elodie, who says we should be this excited to pray to the Lord. But I know she loves the changing colors the wind gifts us, and takes extra joy in making a lesson out of the pastry preparations. What recipe will she pull out of her memory this time?

The moonless night is most beautiful, I think.

August 31th (First Quarter)

   Today I am confined to my room while we have visitors. The Lady of The Silver, even she stays silent at the mention. They are the monastery from a prosperous village, and are known for their mission to purify the world of werewolves. Within their campaigns travel their knights, priests, and nuns as they distribute supplies and teach the villages of Lyncanthropy. The sisters warn me of the true intentions of the campaigns though, this is a hunt, they look for werewolves. In some rare cases, a specific werewolf. 

So here I will stay, confined but safe, watching their fireworks from my window.  

September 6th (before the full moon) 

     Her excitement is loud in my mind, the mangy beast, she is eager to gain control. The transformation begins with taking over my mind, which will happen any minute now. I will drift into a lifeless state and will need the help of the sisters when I do. My body is next, she will split me open from the inside, and gain full control. Even now, I still feel every bit of the agonizingly painful process. 

   Once my eyes are a hazy white, the sisters dress me comfortably and then I will be taken to the crypt. There I will be chained with two deer hanging for Her, like a sort of sacrifice. They never satisfy her though, she wants more, she wants to run free and she wa…

September 16 (waxing crescent) 

   Nine days passed since the full moon. I have finally been able to rejoin my sisters, but I write with scorched fingers as a result of my repentance. I have been praying in silver chains and with silver rosaries, my body still trembles from the fasting, my own punishment for not being strong enough to stop Her. Lord Forgive me, she is stronger when she is hungry, her escape was inevitable. The chains were like paper to her and even the convents crypt, all blessed in silver— proved just as futile. 

    My convent is always prepared to protect themselves but the Lord gifted us a miracle, the wolf did not cause harm. The sisters believe their prayers are what called the miracle but, I must confess. I saw something— I dare say, truly extraordinary. Though, I’m afraid I shouldn’t share this with anyone else. During my repentance, Her memories played in my mind, so clear, they felt like my own. I saw her escape, her destroying the convent in a display of power, such a shameful wolf she is. 

     In her rampage, a table was broken and underneath it hid a trembling Sister Rosie, who was sneaking a bite of flan. As surprised as I was, only the Lord can judge! I can only assume her confidence in the protection of the convent is what led her to come face to face with the wolf. Sister Rosie called my name, weeping for mercy and in the eyes of the wolf, she resembled a lamb. I feared for what was about to happen, but what followed surprised me. The wolf, inches away from devouring her, suddenly slowed, her monstrous snout came close but no fangs beared, instead she opened her grand mouth and licked Sister Rosie’s face. She tasted bitter tears and sweet flan. At that moment, my mind began fluttering into consciousness. What an odd feeling it was, being in my own body with no control.

     The more the taste remained on Her tongue the more my memories flooded the wolf’s mind, giving me some control. Sister Rosie had a chance to escape as she fought herself in inner turmoil. Such a simple thing it was, the taste of flan that we made as real sisters. That day we sang songs and gossiped while Mother Elodie gave us a speech about the many things that had been passed down to us from the sisters of our past, including this recipe, over 100 years old. The mother superior of her convent taught it to her, and we will do the same to newer generations, that is her dream — aside from serving the Lord, of course. We all snickered, not being able to imagine our Mother as a young nun. 

     The wolf began mutilating herself until only I remained, I awoke covered in her remains with the full moon staring down at me. I only presume the love for my sisters is stronger than the power of this curse, a hopeful development. 

    Before this, I had never seen the full moon with my own eyes. I must admit, despite the circumstances, she is most beautiful. 

October 6th (before the full moon)

    The full moon approaches as quickly as she always does. Mother Elodie wants me to reflect on my past and forgive, before I drift into unconsciousness. Forgiveness will open my heart and give me strength over the wolf, in case of another incident. I only heard my story once and never again, for the Lord would not be happy with the resentment I let slither into my heart because of it. I suppose it’s time I forgive.

     My lycanthropy differs from others, I wasn’t bitten or born; I was cursed as an infant by a man jealous of the love my parents had. He was their friend, and as friends do, he joined the celebration of my birth. He had gifts, one in particular was a locket. A beautiful locket bright like a star that captured the eyes of an innocent babe. If only they knew what the hands of jealousy could do. He presented me with the locket, a dark spell laced into its silver metal. Once it fell into my tiny hands, the curse swelled through my body, rotting my blood and birthing the wolf.  That is how I came to this convent, my parents begged the sisters to save me and they did. 

      The locket is still in my possession, it cannot be destroyed, Lord knows I’ve tried. So it sits in my hand, stinging my fingertips and serving as a reminder of the monster I harbor and the life that was taken from me. I often wonder what became of my parents and if they hope to meet their daughter, finally cured. 

  I cannot forgive just yet, the resentment still aches in my heart. I pray for all under the full moon tonight. 

October 13 (Third Quarter, Last entry)

     Six days have passed since the full moon, I write with a mournful heart full of shame, here I pour its tears. She has done something terrible, I have done something terrible. The Lord could not forgive me for this sinful crime. Again, she has broken out from the crypt, but the Lord would not gift us a miracle. The convent were not her only victims. I woke in the village surrounded by mangled bodies, torn to shreds and eaten. Why she did it? I have no clue, how naive I was to think that she would be tamed! What have I done? Oh my innocent sisters! Mother Elodie! The innocent villagers! I tried to bury them, but there were too many bodies and I was weak. 

     In my despair, I left, staggering wherever my body took me. Days later, I stood at the steps of The Lady of The Silver. I begged to be cleansed of sin, to rectify my mistake by taking my life! This all I told Father Junius as I cried to him, still covered in their blood, our blood. He did not execute me as I thought he would, instead, he cradled my head, bringing me into the church. There he had me washed, clothed and fed by the sisters of Silver. I thought, of course, the last few acts of humanity before my death, how good the Lord is! 

    My death never came, Father Junius and the sisters held me in their arms, letting me cry until I begged him to put me down with his righteous hands but he refused. He admitted he’s known about me for years, but he thought I must be like no other if the convent chose to protect me, I must be exceptional. Wiping my tears away, Father Junius explained that this was the path the Lord put me on to reach them. He says the Silver will take care of my home but we shall not let the lives lost, be lost in vain. I didn’t understand at first, but they would help me understand Her, control her so that I can use her to protect!

    Father Junius had smiled with such warmth that I felt the beginning of my atonement. The Lord truly hand picks his angels! Oh praise the Lord! Praise the Silvers! 

I only needed to do one thing so The Silver can best help me. Father Junius showed me a glorious book, the Lord’s Book of Luna. A blessed relic that binds people of my nature to the church so the Lord can keep watch over us. In return, the werewolf must come when the Lord calls and aid in the fight, however the Lord sees fit. The Silver believes a werewolf who signs their name, helps the purification of their soul, giving them a chance at the gates of Heaven. What a joy heaven would be with my sisters, with my parents! Rejoice! 

    Father Junius is right, the Lord put me on the path of righteousness for this reason, to sign my name in the Lord’s book. So I signed, Cecily Lockes, he smiled as I did, holding my hands once more. 

“You are most special Sister Cecily, and the Lord will much appreciate your contribution to the mission.”

Those words will stay in my broken heart forever, I will make a difference and I will no longer be the moons prisoner.